Y ou might know the voiceover at the start of The Big Lebowski. At least that was the handle his loving parents gave him, but he never had much use for it. How much money did carlos kaiser make Stranger rambles on about this and that until he gets somewhere near the point. He fits right in. Carlos Henrique Raposo was the handle his parents gave him but he never had much use for. The environment is conducive to it. A lot of beach. A lot of samba. A lot of drums. You get into the groove without knowing. A good Carioca is somebody who knows how to live life. Kaiser hoa lived life to the brim. Yet throughout his career he went out of his way not to play football. Not even Jesus pleased everybody. Why would I?
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CON man, cheat, chancer But he’s far too charming for those labels. The former Brazilian player has been called a fake footballer for creating a career out of zero talent for the game. Now 55, Carlos was signed by a host of clubs, including giants such as Botafogo , Flamengo, Fluminense, Vasco da Gama and many other teams during a career that spanned two decades. His astonishing story features in a brilliant new documentary by director Louis Myles and Irish producers Dr. The title stems from a nickname the protagonist earned because of his resemblance to Franz Beckenbauer in his youth. Somehow, he never played a professional match in his life, bouncing from club to club while hiding his limited ability by faking injury the moment it dawned on him his secret might get sprung. Kaiser’s party trick was to manipulate powerful figures at each club and boast of his CV to Presidents. The likes of Bebeto , Carlos Alberto, Zico, Junior, Renato Gaucho all speak in the movie about the incredible tale that slips between fantasy and reality. Born in Porto Alegre in a neighbourhood called Moinhos de Vento, Kaiser claimed he was kidnapped at seven-years-old and brought to Rio de Janeiro in My mum was everything bad you could think of,» he said. I have an aversion to drink because I had to live with an alcoholic when I was young. I would deliver lunch boxes.
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Watch now. See the full gallery. Take the Ball, Pass the Ball is the definitive story of the greatest football team ever assembled. Constructed from over hours of never-before-seen footage, this documentary centers on the career of celebrated football player Diego Armando Maradona , who played for S. Napoli in the s. It’s a documentary about the life of eccentric comedian Frank Sidebottom who wore a huge papier-mache’ head and whose true identity was a closely guarded secret until after he died. Ashore portrays the life of a singular fisherman in an ancient riverfront community near Lisbon. Divided between the quiet solitude of the river and the family ties that wash him ashore, Satan» Magee and harmonica master Adam Gussow. Shot over 20 years, the film showcases one of the A documentary that explores the rise and fall of the late Roger Ailes, from his early media influence on the Nixon presidency to his controversial leadership at Fox News. Laurel and Hardy, the world’s most famous comedy duo, attempt to reignite their film careers as they embark on what becomes their swan song — a grueling theatre tour of post-war Britain. A young mother of limited means puts everything on the line to pursue her dream of becoming a competitive runner. Carlos «Kaiser» Henrique Raposo was a professional footballer. But he never actually played a game. By convincing others of his abilities with help from journalist friends he moved from club to club, avoiding football but partying hard. As a female with little knowledge of football, this wouldn’t be my usual choice of film but I was pleasantly surprised. Beautifully shot and brilliantly told, the story of the tragic figure that is Carlos Kaiser provides the full spectrum of emotions, from laughter to sadness. It’s a fascinating story and can’t believe it’s taken this long to be picked up. I also read that the guys who made this dreamt up the idea in a pub, with little experience of filmmaking, unbelievable in itself! Brilliant soundtrack too — go and see it. Sign In.
HE loved sex, money, parties and fame — so far, so typical for a footballer. As a documentary about his extraordinary life hits cinemas, Kaiser, now 55, remains unapologetic about his incredible scam. He boasts of sleeping with 1, girls, often pretending to be his friend and genuine football royalty Gaucho or showing them grainy video footage of Renato scoring goals, claiming it was him. In fact I was never in a fit state to train or play in the morning. Just being a football player made me a magnet for women. He would approach club presidents with extraordinary boasts about his footballing CV. A master salesman, he would inflate his achievements with claims he was being approached by European sides such as Barcelona. In a pre-internet age with no way to check up on his claims, his scam worked a treat. He cried off playing due to the death of his grandmother at least four times, as well as paying a youth team player to injure him and asking a dentist friend to write a fake sick note, audaciously claiming his leg problems were linked to his teeth. Kaiser even punched a fan in the face — so he would get sent off before even setting foot on the pitch for Rio de Janiero-based side Bangu. Kaiser, an Eighties heart-throb complete with sumptuous mullet, Speedos a size too small and statement bumbag, would convince 15 to 20 women to come to the team hotel and, once the lights were out, the players would sneak down to his room for an orgy. I bonded the group together. Instead, he fell back on plan B for extra cash — sleeping with older women who paid him. These days, Kaiser is a personal trainer working exclusively with women — and still telling his tales. Some of the details have a tendency to change. In his book Kaiser says he was given a blonde prostitute as part of his signing-on deal with French club Ajaccio, while in the documentary he says it was a US side that offered this sweetener. Carlos clearly hoodwinked a lot of owners and managers into believing he had talent for football, when in fact his only talent was for trickery. Kaiser gained professional contracts with some of the biggest clubs in South America, alongside the greatest players of all time.
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Y mske might know the voiceover at the start of The Big Lebowski. At least that was the handle his loving parents gave him, but he never had much use for it. The Stranger rambles on about this and that until he gets somewhere near the point. He fits right in. Carlos Henrique Raposo was the handle his parents gave him but he never had much use for. The environment is conducive to it. A lot of beach. A lot of samba. A lot of drums. You get into the groove without knowing. A good Carioca is somebody who knows how to live life.
Kaiser has lived life to the brim. Yet throughout his career he went out of his way not to play football. Not even Maje pleased everybody. Why would I? His story is so astonishing that, ina British company bought exclusive rights for a feature-length documentary.
His memory is somewhere between selective and defective, and there is an undeniable element of fantasy to his story. As you dig deeper, one thing becomes abundantly clear: a lot of this stuff really did happen.
Kaiser had more front than Copacabana Beach. His staple trick was to make friends with influential people: he would befriend powerful figures at each club, telling them about his impressive football Carloe.
If he was in the mood, he would approach journalists, players and the club owner, constructing a web of lies so elaborate that nobody could remember who had vouched for him in the first place. In those days, before the internet, nobody was much the wiser.
That would be it. In the first training session Kaiser usually suffered a muscle injury that would keep him out for an indefinite period, during which he would hang around the club and become an unofficial morale specialist. On the few occasions he did train, he had the rare ability to find himself in space.
Trouble was, that space was usually as far away from the action as possible. In theory Kaiser was a centre-forward; in practice he was a really false nine. He would do anything to avoid playing moey win favour. He paid youth-team members to clatter him in training so that he could fake injury, and gave watching spectators money to sing his name when the club owner was.
Long before Stephen Ireland came up with the ideaKaiser was committing grannycide: his grandmother was regularly killed off monej help him avoid his inanimate nemesis, the football. Kaiser says he had some talent but chose not to use it. In Brazil, training sessions would often be preceded by a game of makke in the middle. Sweating loads! He was mak before training even started! Inthey came carkos a penalty shootout of winning the Campeonato Cariocaan achievement carloz would have registered extremely high on the Leicester Scale.
Castor was not a man hoe mildly irk, never mind cross. After one match he chased a referee around the pitch, a gun flapping in his maake pocket as he attempted to engage the ref in urgent discourse regarding a minor disparity in their interpretation of the laws of the game.
That headline became famous, and not only because Kaiser showed it to everybody at every opportunity. When he arrived he had the usual injury problems. Castor loved him anyway, because of his cheek, his charisma, his chutzpah — and his apparently endless access to beautiful women. One weekend Kaiser was studiously continuing his rehab at 4am in Caligula nightclub when word reached him that Castor had sent an order for him to be on the caros the next day.
Kaiser panicked before being reassured by the coach that he would stay as a non-playing substitute. Bangu had a dreadful start to the match and were soon. Castor sent a message from the stands via walkie-talkie that it was time how much money did carlos kaiser make unleash kaieer star signing. Kaiser had two choices. He could go on as substitute, in which case he was dead; or he could refuse to go on, in which case he was dead. So he improvised a third option. He was sent off before getting on the pitch.
Kaiser was kasier to see Castor after carloa game. That day, like every other, Kaiser lived on instinct and in the moment. His life has been a never-ending hustle predicated on a series of small, instinctive scams that make up one gigantic scam. In Brazil, is the maake in the penal code that deals with scammers and confidence tricksters; thus such people are known as s.
Nearly everyone goes out of their way to tell you Kaiser was a good In terms of effectiveness, he was a great There were all the low-level scams — losing his wallet, the cash machine swallowing his card — so that he would never have to pay for a meal. This would often be quite a. Kaiser goes through phases of binge eating and binge dieting and on one occasion the staff at a pizza restaurant counted as he went through 70 S-E-V-E-N-T-Y slices of pizza.
Not content with redefining football, Kaiser redefined restaurant culture by introducing the free all-you-can-eat buffet. He had no money but he was a self-made VIP. Ten minutes later Kaiser came back with a hotel name and a contact, and Carlos Alberto stayed there for five days. Rio is one of the most unfettered places in the world. The most obvious manifestation of this is in the physical act of love, yet the relationship between sex caelos misogyny has often been on the unpleasant side of uncomfortable.
You just take her into the first bathroom and the first available cubicle, give her one amke leave. Crlos all comes from the culture in which I was raised. I came from a very poor culture among ignorant people, so I had it in my head that to have sex you needed to be macho.
He used his status to chat up women. Sometimes he would show a grainy VHS of a namesake scoring brilliant or vital goals. He was almost in a grainy VHS himself when he went along to a porn audition to support his cousin and made such an impression that he nearly ended up in the how much money did carlos kaiser make.
Renato symbolised the last golden age of Brazilian domestic football, when the greats carloss the majority of their careers at home and moey game had not been infected with professionalism.
Renato is the superstar Europe never knew: a tall, elegant winger who was almost too hunky to function. Bebeto thinks he was as good as Lionel Gow and Neymar. Renato had a short period at Roma, when professionalism and the lack of beaches sapped his mondy. The rest of his career was spent in Brazil. Even though the team that won the World Cup in is remembered with an asterisk because of their conservative style of play, domestic football was as expressive as.
This was a team when Jogo Bonito was a philosophy rather than an advertising slogan. There was another contender for the crown. These days Kaiser is in his 50s and works as a fitness trainer momey women — but his legend endures. The real king of Rio was Kaiser. An accompanying book, by Rob Smyth, is also available. Facebook Twitter Pinterest. Topics Football The forgotten story of Brazil features.
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Please refresh the page and retry. T he greatest footballer never to play football? Meet Kaiser, the Brazilian footballer, ladies man, legend… and liar. He lived the s carlso superstar life of monsy, mullets, and lots of sex. But if you look in the record books, you will find no appearance data for Kaiser, no goals. That is because he was very careful never to actually PLAY football at any serious level. The greatest footballer never to play footballby Rob Smyth is published by Penguin. Either or both is well worth your time. Not even Jesus pleased everybody. Why would I? H e was great at befriending the rich and powerful, and expert at manipulating journalists. Bebeto, who actually WAS a great footballer, was a mate of. That would be it. His gift for deception extended to all areas of life: he like the high times but never had any money. Aside from blagging his way in football, his other great talent was for chatting up women: he reckons to have slept with well over a thousand. Clubs and real footballers loved having him around because he invariably brought czrlos girls. He was no use on the pitch, but mpney made for a happy dressing room. Kaiser was duly stuck on the bench the next day, and was panicking that the boss would realise he was a no-hoper. So he took the third option: of punching a fan and getting himself sent off before he could even mnoey on the pitch. We urge you to turn off your ad blocker for The Telegraph website monwy that you can continue to access our quality content in the future. Visit our adblocking instructions page.